The last couple of nights, by the time I got home from work I was so irrationally tired. I am sure it is largely just me trying to get adjusted to waking up at 5 in the morning again, but whatever the case it is annoying as hell. Last night I was so out of it, that I didn’t even cook a “real” dinner but instead simply made a peanut butter sandwich and then proceeded to sit on the couch fighting desperately not to fall asleep. By the time my wife got home around 7ish I had managed to get a second wind and started actually functioning, or at least a mental state closer to functional. I am hoping by the time I hit the weekend, I will have worked out all of the differences in sleep patterns and next week will be easier. What does not really help is the fact that upon coming back Monday it has been crisis central at work. We’ve dealt with a project that is threatening to go off the rails, a virus scare, and processing some crucial year end/beginning of year things. I guess that is always the case after coming back from Christmas break. Folks stop really functioning around Thanksgiving and all of that work gets pushed until we all get back that Monday after New Years. I have a friend that is smart in that he tends to take his vacation after the first instead of connecting the dots between Christmas and New Years like most of us do. That means he misses most of this insanity.
The only real positive is it feels like everyone else out there is struggling with 2016, so at least we can share the misery together. Making matters worse is that my boss is fairly sick, and I am now paranoid that I am coming down with it. The thing is… I would happily go to bed tonight around 8pm if I thought I would actually be able to sleep all the way through the night. My fear is that I would go to sleep, and then wake up at midnight completely unable to get back to sleep. There is just too much stuff to do right now so I feel like I cannot afford to get sick. There are projects that have to be completed, and others that need to get started. I am dealing with some of the most extreme impostor syndrome I have in a very long time, because I feel like I should be able to juggle all of this madness better. Its kinda shit walking around for days paranoid that someone is going to find out that you are a fraud, and that you really don’t know anything… all the while you are very clearly doing complex things that negate the notion that you are a fraud. Brains are dumb. If I could figure out how to negate the effects of this… and also the weird panic freak outs that I have been having life would be awesome. The other solution that I would love to fix is the fact that regardless of how tired I seem to be sitting on the couch, the moment I put head to pillow I am either wide awake or deluged by a panic attack.
Once I finished Draenor Pathfinder, I was hit with this feeling of… “Hey! You should finish some more alts!”. As a result I started in pushing up my Draenei Paladin Exeter, and as of last night I managed to hit level 100. I am honestly shocked at just how fast leveling goes when you can fly. Now one would think that maybe this would tip me to the other side of the “flying in draenor” discussion, but not really. When I leveled three characters to 100 without flight, the experience felt more “earned” if that makes sense. The time spent felt like I was actually living in those zones, rather than just flitting from point to point dropping off this or that item. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful now for the ability to level faster… because three characters was about the right amount of time that I wish to spend in these zones. The other characters, I just want to push as fast as humanly possible. Ultimately I started doing this Alliance side again because I needed a break from the Old World Horde leveling path. After rapidly pushing a druid to 40 over Christmas break, it felt “too soon” when I returned to working on my Orc Warlock. In theory at some point soon I might just end up transferring that druid to The Scryers so that I can play it with the regular crew of people that I play horde with. It seems silly to transfer a sub 60 character, but I really don’t want to push a new character through those zones that quickly. I need to do some more research into the horde potential zones, because in just following the adventure guide it seems to always direct me to the same places. Mostly I want to sort out how to get down the Grom’gol path and into Stranglethorn Vale.
In the meantime while on this break from Horde, I think I am going to work on my Dwarven Shaman. I have an army of still to be leveled to 100 post 90 characters… and this one is sitting at 91. I think in theory I can probably wrap him up quickly and make some movement over the weekend. Mostly what tipped him over the edge was a discussion with some friends that indirectly influenced me. Tam was talking about specs that became “better” than others… and mentioned some period of time when Enhancement was the bees knees. Which made me think about how Enhancement is the only Shaman spec I can really play… which made me remember how much I actually liked playing it. So as a result I think I am going to push the dorf for a bit and see how close I get to 100 before getting that urge to play Horde again. Largely I think it would be kinda awesome if I was able to push all of my characters to 100 before Legion…. but given how many horde characters are not even 20 yet… that is going to be a very tall order. In the meantime I am trying to do whatever feels the best, and trying to sort out how to stop feeling so damned tired all the time. Today is better than yesterday… and that was better than Monday…. so I feel like it is a gradual thing. With time I will get back used to this 5 am crap… and will continue onward being a super responsible adult type person.