Good Morning Folks and Happy Thanksgiving, or to my Canadian friends… Thanksgiving a month late. This is going to be a pretty text heavy post so as a result I am paying you off up front with a cat photo. There are a lot of things that I am thankful for this year, because it has been quite possibly the hardest year of my life. For those who do not follow this blog regularly, I lost my wife of just shy of 30 years in July when she passed away suddenly from what was effectively undiagnosed congestive heart failure. We had no clue anything was wrong until she suddenly effectively dropped dead one day after we both had a bout of Influenza B. What I am most thankful for is the support structure that I have had to make sure I am functional.
There are a lot of folks that I knew would have my back no matter what happened in my life because we are as they say “ride or die”. This includes my unofficial sibling Ace, the entire AggroChat crew, a bunch of folks from my work family, a handful of neighbors that we were really close to, and my family both my personal family and my wife’s family who keep checking in on me. What I did not expect was the plethora of other voices that have continued to show up in my life and make sure I am doing okay, and have been there to listen when I very much was not. Y’all have been amazing and I think you know who you are. I am not exceptionally good at accepting help in any form, because I am stubborn at doing things on my schedule and my way… but y’all have always been there in the background supporting me with a kind word when I needed it.
Another thing that I am deeply thankful for are my cats. Sure they love on me and snuggle me, and each of them does so in their own special way, but what they provide me that is more important than anything else is a routine. They expect to be fed at specific times, and expect me to go to bed at specific times. Gracie will scream at me until I pay attention and go to sleep when it is sleep time, and this is immensely beneficial. The indoor cats and the outdoor cats need me, and that more than anything is the thing that I feel like I am missing in my life… a sense of purpose. My purpose was taking care of my wife and doing whatever it was that she needed to make sure she could continue to be a rockstar teacher. I don’t have that anymore, and more than losing a partner, I lost my center of gravity and my purpose of being. The cats… while not exactly the same have allowed me to maintain some semblance of order in my life that got shook vigorously and carelessly dumped out onto the table. I am pretty sure a few pieces fell down the heating vent behind the couch.
What has been wild to me is how each of them has changed slightly, for better or worse. Mollie for example is way more demanding of my attention, and if I do not lay down fast enough she gets real mad at me because she demands to snuggle with me as soon as I hit the bed. Now this behavior is an adaptation of something that happened a lot where my wife would go to bed without me and read for awhile, while I was still winding down for the night and playing games. During this time Mollie got special time where it was just her, because the other two cats were almost always in my orbit. The death of my wife means that she had to get brave to continue getting that same special time, but she has done so and we snuggle more now than we have ever snuggled in the past. Similarly Gracie had behaviors that she had for me and my wife and they were totally different interactions… and now… I am sort of having to play both roles so she is always in my business. You see so much of her because she is always the cat that is within arms reach of me as I am doing anything in life. Josie sadly has gotten a bit more skittish, but she does not handle change very well so it is understandable.
Being the first Thanksgiving without my wife, I was way more concerned about her Mom than I was about me. I still have parents and we used to do the “divide and conquer” thing where I would go to my parents and she would go to her mom’s. There were many years where my wife was the only person there, and I wanted to make sure that she was not alone for Thanksgiving. So during the funeral process I made plans to eat Thanksgiving with her, and primed my folks that they would end up taking the backseat at least this year. We have a mutual friend that also said she was going to go with me to the meal, and thanks to timing it turns out my wife’s sister is also going to be available. She works odd hours and goes off to do these multi month long jobs where she cleans out nuclear power plants, so we never know exactly what her schedule is going to be like and if she is going to be available for holidays. We see her when we can see her basically, and I am also thankful that she has not made herself scarce in my life.
Early in our marriage we were having to attend five of six Thanksgiving proceedings. In my family there were always two happening which was my Mom’s side of the family and my Dad’s side of the family. Since my wife was from a split home there were two full families associated with her Dad and Step Mom, and with her Mom and Step Dad. Then we often had a separate meal with my wife’s eldest sister and her family, who often served as a bit of a surrogate mother because there was a twenty year difference between the two of them. So we would do this whirlwind trip through all of the houses, trying to carve the most opportune path and hit as many proceedings as we could so that no one felt snubbed, often ending up at her eldest sisters house that night, because we would get up at zero dark thirty to go shop the Black Friday sales, back when they were physical things and not just a month long sequence of lukewarm deals.
My wife would get so tired of eating the same meal over and over at every household, because while the individual components might vary… it was essentially a combination of turkey, ham, dressing, and the same basic sides over and over. Slowly over time the various houses disintegrated as they lost the connective glue that kept things together. When her step dad passed away, his kids stopped going to visit Mom-in-law in quite the same way… and started having their own family Thanksgiving meals. This led to some quiet gatherings, but my wife was always there. One year Mom-in-law asked my wife what she wanted to Thanksgiving meal, and not wanting her to have to cook a full meal with all of the trimmings, and also being tired of all of that… she said Spaghetti. Truth be told she makes really damned good Spaghetti, and then year by year that sort of became the tradition. The idea being it was something simple enough to make that it did not put her through an egregious amount of effort to make the meal, especially when it was often just the two of us and her eating said meal. The bonus would be that we also got sent home with a lot of excess Spaghetti, which reheats beautifully and keeps for a really long time in the fridge.
Traditions just sort of happen like that, and Thanksgiving Spaghetti was one of the good ones. Once upon a time I was starving and desperate for food… and ate a handful of honey roast peanuts at my Grandmother’s house… and those became something I got every single year because she thought I loved them. We do our best to do the little things for the ones we care about, and while honey roast peanuts are not a thing I actually enjoy… I did always appreciate the attempt at thoughtfulness. My Dad loves them so he always got them. I am thankful that we are keeping the tradition of this unorthodox meal alive even though my wife is no longer around. Thanksgiving without a big mess of spaghetti just would not be quite the same.
The only problem with a non-traditional meal is the fact that we ran out of traditional ones. As happens… the family bonds disintegrates over time as the glue that holds a household together passes away. We lost her sister and step father to cancer, and her dad started RVing full time which obliterated any semblance of a formal meal. Then both of my grandmothers passed away, each of them the anchor for that household, so eventually we were left in a scenario where we were out of homes to go to. My folks don’t really need to go to all of the effort of fixing the full meal, because my mom is no longer able to walk and my dad is overburdened with caring for her. So at some point we started partaking of Charlies Chicken, which makes ready to go meals that are pretty damned good. I went by and picked up a giant pan of chicken and dressing yesterday and then came home and split it out into another pan so I could take half of it to the little 85 year old neighbor guy that I check in on every Sunday. I wanted to make sure he also had a good Thanksgiving meal that he did not need to cook, and this also gives me plenty of leftovers in the fridge to eat on in the coming days.
I guess that is the challenge going forward, is that I am going to have to start building new traditions. There is so much of me that feels guilty that I am moving on with my life. I am trying to do things that bring me joy, and it feels somewhat wrong that I am doing so. The core of my being is still very much broken, and while I am shambling along and going through the motions… it feels like I still lack a unified sense of purpose in the way that I once did. I am going to have to find that purpose again, but that is a challenge for the future. I am just barely out of the crying every single day phase. I still have moments where I fall to pieces, and they almost always revolve around seeing something and desperately wanting to tell my wife about it, only to suddenly realize that I can’t. I am getting through it though and I am thankful to everyone who has helped me get to the point where it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did.
Anyways. I don’t normally do holiday posts but given that I have several hours to kill before I need to drive to my first destination, I thought I would sit down and bang one out because I am legitimately thankful for all of the help that I have been given this year. I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday, and if you don’t celebrate… then I hope you have a great tail end of the week and weekend. Does your family have any unorthodox family traditions? Drop me a line below because I would love to hear some of them.
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Good Morning Folks. Once a week, Ace and I get together to do Grandmaster difficulty content in Destiny Rising. In general we have had much better luck when we queue together for content, because at a minimum we know that we can rely on each other. This week however is pure butts when it comes to options. For those who have not gotten to this point yet, you are limited in your character options when it comes to Grandmaster activities and everyone has to choose one of six characters that is also over 64k power rating. Really of the options there viable ones are Rossi, Ning Fei, Gwynn, and Jolder. Of those generally the strongest characters damage output wise are Ning Fei and Gwynn… but both of them are very much glass canons that have to get up close and personal with mobs in order to deal the maximum amount of damage.
We started the night with Blitz and I decided to roll with Gwynn and Ace with Ning Fei because they were our strongest options… and quite possibly it was the most frustrating experience we have had in ages. We got one of the new Blitz, and the worst one… where you have to fight the giant eyeball in the center and everything feels super tanky for some reason. After running out of resurrections and only having the boss down to 2/3rds of their health… everyone abandoned and we decided to try something we thought would be easier… and ran a strike. That turned out to also be frustrating and it took us three attempts… with the final being pure spite because we lost our third party member and duo’d down the boss. The biggest problem with the encounter is the fact that the adds are so damned deadly. We had to shift up our strategy from trying to burn down the boss to being on top of the adds as soon as they spawned. It was not the cleanest kill in the world, but we were proud of not giving up.
After that we did some way more relaxing Morgran’s Hunt runs since the event is going on right now. We got quite possibly our highest score yet with a triple Maru setup, and it was a lot of stupid fun. Essentially we got to the round where the game starts to cheat in both runs. I am not sure there is a solid way to get through round eight, because the mob health and mob damage output spikes massively… throwing a bunch of yellow bar mobs at you so that you can’t easily knock out the bonus, often leading to the map ending quickly. That is okay though because we got two four key runs, which are pretty solid. Unfortunately we both got our guaranteed exotics and they were useless ones… with Ace pulling the Old Prefect and me pulling another copy of Two Tailed Fox. Essentially if we get together and do another couple four runs we will wrap up the event with several days to spare.
I finished up my hundred maps running blue altars, and during that time I got one divine altar… unfortunately being one for the boss to drop six divines instead of one for the minions to drop divines. Other than that the only other exciting altar that I got was one for exalted orbs, where I pulled three whole orbs for the entire map. There is a reason why I find myself enjoying red altars more than blue ones, because blue is a pure gamble with most of your maps giving you nothing worth writing home about. Red altars on the other hand end up producing a bunch of Chaos Orbs, which always feels at least somewhat useful. Now I need to shift gears and run one of my atlas trees that can splash in the red altar nodes so I can start grinding out my hundred maps for that.
This has led me to go back to my Alva farming setup with Ritual as I continue my hunt for King of the Mists invitations. I am running the really expensive scarab that makes it so that the last Invasion of each map drops a fully itemized temple. In my experience you end up getting quite a few temples to drop with Locus of corruption, each of which sells for around 100 Chaos, so if you get 3 of these in 20 maps you can pay for the cost of all of the scarabs required for this run. It also is worth quite a bit of experience and should be a good way of pushing up my Ice Trapper in levels. However to make Red Altars viable I think I am going to drop my anti-bleed pantheon and swap over to the one that makes it so burning ground does not hurt me, since you encounter so many burning ground altars.
In other news, my second big splurge should be here shortly. I ordered a Bambu Labs P1S with AMS combo and in theory I should be playing with it within the next week or so. A lot of the work that I have been doing out in my garage has been preparing for the ability to pick up a 3D printer and dive into that world. I have a bunch of things that I want to make and will probably talk about them some on this blog in the coming months. I mostly went with the Bambu Labs option because it seemed the most turnkey and beginner friendly. At some point I would like to also add a Resin printer to my mix, but for the moment I am getting started with what seems to have the lower barrier of entry and FDM with PLA and ABS. ABS really appeals to me becasuse of the ability to use the same plastic cement and sprue-glue that I am used to from plastic miniature kits. I will probably print more stuff in PLA however just for the ease of setup. I stayed out of this world not due to lack of interest, but more that I was waiting for things to stabilize a bit before buying something. We will see how this goes.
In other other news… I am doing considerably better and thanks for the warm wishes from folks over the last few days.
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Good Morning Folks. I am slowly climbing out of the abyss that is whatever the hell crud I ended up getting. What is remaining is a cough and congestion. I started taking some over the counter fake dayquil to help with some of the symptoms and that has improved my general quality of life. I am hoping between today and tomorrow I will have kicked it enough to feel comfortable trying to be around folks for Thanksgiving. Which will probably just mean that I catch something else… but that is the life of someone without much of an immune system. I still have no clue what exactly I have had since it came on Thursday afternoon, and still has held on with a vengeance all weekend long and into this week. Since I tested negative for Covid and Flu, I am guessing just some sort of a random viral infection.
Since I was pretty out of it, and honestly continue to be… I spent a good chunk of yesterday watching some shows. I burned through all of Season 4 of the Witcher and it was “fine”. The storyline continues to be a complete and fucking mess, at least compared to either the books or the games… but the characters are mostly on point and I have to just treat this as its own thing. Liam Hemsworth honestly might be doing a better job of Geralt of Rivia than Henry Cavill did, which is probably a good thing considering I personally gave some major stinkeye at this actor swap given how invested Cavill was in the show. I think he was fundamentally pissed at how much they strayed from the material, and Hemsworth is doing an adequate job of being properly Geralt-ish. It feels like they are attempting to tell the storyline leading up to the second game, more or less, but a lot of the scenes differ wildly from either the book interpretation or the game interpretation, which are themselves two different things. Its fine… and was very watchable, but you have to put that lore accurate side of your brain asleep when dealing with this project.
I also started To Be Hero X, which is a Chinese Anime that I had heard really good things about. Essentially it is a world where everyone has something akin to the social credit score and if this gets high enough, you start to develop super powers. However those super powers are directly influenced by the way that people feel about you. If effectively social media feels that you are super handsome, you will legitimately keep getting more and more handsome. Its a weird concept but the art style is freaking amazing. It flows between at least three drastically different art styles as it tells various stories centered around effectively normal folks who were thrust into the life of a hero. I am not sure how far I am from the end of the series but there definitely have been set up a bunch of interesting background elements and I am curious how some of the plot threads are going to wrap up.
Over in Path of Exile I am still alternating between mapping on my Ice Trapper and then Delving on my RF Chieftain. I thought I would take a moment and talk through what I am running for Scarabs. The goal is just to add additional mobs to the map, which makes my Ice Trapper level faster and also provides for a bunch of potential drops. I am running Alch and go copies of Tropical Island which I am oversustaining, but recently swapped all of my favorite slots to Strand with the goal of eventually flipping between those two maps. Wide open layouts really favor the area of effect of the ice trap lifestyle. Then I add in Two Scarab of Monstrous Lineage, Two Scarab of Adversaries, and One Scarab of Hunted Traitors to add a bunch of extra mobs to the map, while running with my Niko/Betrayal/Beyond atlas. All the while I am running blue altars with support on the tree so I can knock out that 100 maps achievement, and then I will probably swap up what tree I am using and go with something that can do red altar support so I can knock out another one.
One thing that I have been doing that I think I am going to stop doing… is running the 10,000 Blue Zanthemum strategy. I’ve been sending it with 250k dust and occasionally this produces divine orbs, but it does not feel like it does so often enough to make it worth my time. I am probably instead just going to save up enough materials for one of the multi-million shipments and see if I can get mirror shards instead. I’ve not touched mappers, but I have heard they are producing a lot of good stuff this league, however the gold cost is just outrageous. I am not mining at all because mining generlaly produces gear, and at this stage in the game… especially with the addition of the tree tree… I have no interest in random gear. Basically my last few days have been super chill mapping while watching something on the television, and that is about as much activity as I can really take.
Tonight I plan on doing some Grandmaster activities with Ace in Destiny Rising so hopefully I will remember to take some screenshots of our shenaningans.
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Good Morning Folks. I feel pretty miserable. On Tuesday I had several doctors appointments and spent time in several waiting rooms, and am pretty sure I picked up some dire crud. I was a dumbass and did not wear a mask and am now paying the price. I started feeling awful on Thursday, it got considerably worse on Friday, and then has been backing off slowly over the weekend. I am hoping that by tomorrow I will feel functional enough to work again. It started with an outrageously sore throat, a cough, and some intestinal panic… and mostly what is left is the cough. However it has impacted my ability to sleep with me waking up every 30 minutes or so for a good old fashioned coughing fit. However I did manage to move into the new desktop PC that I talked about last week, and have moved my old one downstairs to eventually be used for some living room big screen gaming. Very much a big fan of the Costco pre-built that I talked about, and it was a massive upgrade over my previous 11th gen intel based system with a 3080 in it.
I honestly spent most of the weekend too miserable to care about much of anything, staring blankly at the wall. When I did feel like gaming I largely played Path of Exile. I am alternating between delving on my Righteous Fire Chieftain, and mapping on my Ice Trap of Hollowness Elementalist, and both are extremely solid. I am getting close to level 99 on the Chieftain and when I hit that, I am probably going to spend a bit more time taking on bloodline and pinnacle bosses to knock out some more credit towards the various challenges. I need to start doing a lot more Tier 16.5 maps because I need to complete a bajillion of them in order to knock out one of the challenges. Right now I am doing Blue altars juiced on my Ice Trapper, and at some point I will swap things up to Red altars and then later Maven Witnesses because there are achievements for doing all of those. I really hate the act of witnessing the Maven because I hate running random map layouts. I wish there was a keystone that gave you random bosses at the end of maps so that you could run a single layout and always be witnessing a new boss.
At this pint I have completed 24 of 40 Achievements and knocked out a few thanks to Betrayal like the one that requires you to use a bunch of rare crafting materials. I eventually got a syndicate crafting bench with a Divine Orb on it, which counts for the achievement requirements. There is another one for using rare currency, but I am not sure any of that stuff actually shows up on the Syndicate benches. At some point I should try and craft a dual influence life gain on block shield to replace my current one, and that will use an awakener orb which is one of the requirements. I am really close to Cross Contamination and just need to figure out which combination of scarabs I need to run to make some of those conditions happen. It took me four maps before I was able to get a Delirious Beyond boss which surprised me a bit. Sinew Swarms is actually closer in progress than the 0 of 3 would indicate but that one will complete in time with me just running enough maps.
Over in Destiny Rising, we had one of our best weekends ever… but I failed to take any screenshots. Essentially we managed to find Three Strongholds as a clan, and then did all of them on Saturday afternoon before I started feeling considerably worse as the day went on. We did not record a podcast this weekend, because I sort of cratered as we got towards evening. That has happened most nights, where I do better in the morning and then feel progressively worse as the day goes on. Morgran’s Prey is also going on again so we knocked a few of those rounds out as a group, and then I have run it a few more times solo. Now that I have every exotic weapon, the enticement of getting a new exotic is not nearly as strong as it once was. However it is still a good source of general resources and materials, and the combat itself is pretty fun.
I finished out the battle pass and got my 4th copy of the exotic grenade launcher, allowing me to max that weapon out. There are still a few minor points that I can upgrade it, but it did bump my Maru over 70k making her my highest character currently. As soon as I settle up from Calamity ops I should be able to max out her relic abilities and bump her score up again. After that I am either going to work on bumping up Ning Fei or Gwynn and I used some of the excess fruit that I had laying around to get artifact gilding requirement done for Tan-2. I’ve upgraded a bunch of my characters somewhat even levels of progress, whereas my friend Ace has mostly focused on one or two. Their method is probably better, but I personally like having a wide stable of characters to play.
I ran two of the three weekly legendary missions this morning, because I needed the components to bump up Maru’s weapon and completed my first three chest run with Gwynn that I have ever done. I need to do another one of these runs as Wolf because the last step that he has between getting another gold medallion is surviving a challenge mode without dying. The push to get more gold characters stopped being anywhere near as interesting when I was not longer gated from upgrades because I was too low level. Now that I am over Ascension 55 I think I can pretty much do anything in the game. I need to spend some time in the coming days trying to get through some more of the challenge content. I am not sure what day of the week Ace and I will get together and do the Grandmaster stuff, but I am sure it will be one of these first few days of the week before Thanksgiving.
Playing Path of Exile on the Livingroom TV was a bit of a wild experience. One of the things that I want to sort out over the holiday weekend is trying to figure out this doodad that I bought which serves as a USB to Bluetooth adapter and should allow me to remote control the device with a normal keyboard and mouse. A lot of the games that I plan on playing in the livingroom will be controller games, but I do still want the ability to play MMORPGs and ARPGs if I so choose it.
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