Ball of Rage

Ball of Rage

The last several weeks have been rough for me, because there is a significant amount of change going on in my life.  Generally speaking I can handle a single aspect of my life in chaos at once, so long as the rest of it seems to be working just fine.  That however is not really working as intended.  On the gaming front I am all over the place, torn between World of Warcraft, loyalty to friends still playing Final Fantasy XIV… and my desire to play games that no one else is really playing like Destiny.  On the work front, stress is the order of the day with everything in a seeming state of chaos with some reorganization and many different competing deadlines.  On the home front we have the chaos with the fact that Luna still does not fit into this family, and the fact that I am trying to juggle how socialize her but at the same time keep her away from the other two cats who she straight up attacks.  Then there is the fact that my wife is in just as much chaos as I am right now and having a pretty rough school year.  Sometimes…  things go horribly wrong and last night was one of those cases.  The above image is not directly related to this topic other than the fact that the game is “Rage” and I have been in a fairly ragey state lately.

I was a horrible boar to be around yesterday, and it seemed like everything set me off into a cursing and yelling fit.  There was a point at which my wife was like “I just don’t want to be around you right now, because I don’t know what is going to set you off”.  It was true, I had no clue what was going to set me off either.  I am just inexplicably angry, even when doing things that I normally like.  I am not sure how to get past the wall of stress and get back to normal… or honestly at this point what normal even would be like again.  Today I am taking the day off as part mental health day, and part I planned ahead and wanted to watch Blizzcon as it was happening.  I am hoping that a day alone with my cats gives me some time to get over what is making me angry.  This morning we can just add worry to the mix, because last night there was a massive tussle between Luna and Kenzie that came from out of nowhere.  At the time Kenzie seemed okayish, but now she is limping around and reacting harshly to pretty much everything.  So I am super worried about her and if she is okay.  The leg doesn’t appear to be swelling or has any visible wounds…  but it is obviously tender because she doesn’t really like it being messed with and is holding it and three legged walking.

To make things even worse I know tomorrow that I am going to have to go spend time at a family gathering.  This stresses me out beyond reason because I know that this branch of the family has some wildly differing political views at the moment.  I know that the election is going to come up… and I am just not sure if I can hold my shit together long enough to keep from spewing and string of expletives at this family that otherwise thinks I am a sane and respectful human being.  Everything makes me angry right now, and the election is I am sure a part of that general bubble of rage.  I just want things to calm down and return to a normal state so I can begin to function again.  The biggest problem is I am not sure when that normalcy will actually arrive.  At this point I am guessing it will be like this, a bundle of angry bits until after the holidays.  In the mean time though I am going to try and figure out a way to calm down and learn how to relax again.  Mostly I just need one or two of the fronts to calm down… I need a sanctuary from the stress and that doesn’t really exist right now.  Every single place I exist in… is full of madness and I just want something to stop being that way.

November Gaming Goals

There’s a trend of folks setting various gaming goals for themselves each month. At the very least it is a way to see what I’ve been working toward and maybe create a little blog fodder so I don’t abandon this Mansion.

WoW

Level another alt to 110. I have one Ally druid at 105 so she’s probably the one that will get there first.

Get a Legendary for my Monk. This is more of a wish or a prayer than a goal, but at least I should be doing more dungeons for more chances at the drop.

Get one of the falcosaur mounts. I’m farthest on the snowfeather quests, and I think that is one that doesn’t require the Nighthold raid to complete so it should be doable.

Clear the new Karazhan. I have most of an attuned group for this, just need to find one more regular to join us and hit the ground running.

Destiny

Run some strikes with my friends.

WildStar

Play at least once a week. I miss this game but it is hard to make myself spend time away from my WoW goals.

Finish seeing the Arcterra content. Yup it’s been a while since I was playing regularly.


These are pretty modest goals so hopefully I’ll be able to achieve them all this month.


November Gaming Goals

(Games) Journalism versus Enthusiast Press

I read an incredibly, incredibly petty article today. It’s written as a defensive piece that lashes out and, ironically, proves the very thing they’re railing against.

(Games) Journalism versus Enthusiast Press

Short version, so you can skip the article if you choose: Polygon is upset because Bethesda has evidently claimed that games journalism doesn’t matter. They cite Bethsoft’s “late” review copies as an attack on reviewers and, by extension, customers. They strike back by offering the “sage” wisdom of not preordering games. It’s honestly sort of a pity that this kind of thing is coming from Polygon, because of all of the gaming media outlets out there, they’re the ones who flirt the closest with actual journalism the most. Polygon has some really excellent articles on occasion.

I have a variety of thoughts about this. First of all is the difference between “journalism” and “enthusiast press”. We have a name for news written by fans of a thing, about that thing, that is generally excited about said thing. It’s called enthusiast press, and it is what virtually every gaming media outlet actually is. Enthusiast press is fine, it’s a way of being a marketing signal boost, it’s a way of celebrating common interests, it’s great for building hype, it’s great for getting the word out about upcoming things. It is not hard-hitting journalism.

Journalism is a different thing entirely. It takes a goodly amount of training, and is genuinely very difficult. You have to extract information from potentially unwilling people, you have to know exactly how to protect your sources, you have to understand concepts like fact-checking, reduction of harm, integrity, and accountability. You also have to find a way to keep the lights on in your office WITHOUT that revenue stream being a conflict of interest. You can lament reality all you like, but that separation is absolutely vital to calling your content “journalism” and having anyone take you seriously.

I have no doubt that there are people at Polygon who understand this. It probably chafes them, I’m sure they would love to be able to do actual journalism. It chafes me, because the games industry could use some really great journalist outlets, ones that can report and make the entire industry better through transparency without pandering to major publishers or allowing themselves to be influenced or controlled by the very people they’re supposed to be reporting on. The industry could use it. Unfortunately, what’s happened instead is that the games enthusiast press has, as their relevance has shrunk, started throwing around the term “games journalism” to regain credibility, painting an illusion of separation where, realistically, none exists. In so doing, they’ve devalued the term “games journalism”.

Allow me to retell a story I heard: A group of people from games media outlets were invited to a closed-doors showing of an upcoming title. Their trips were paid for by the publisher, as were their meals and their hotels. Fairly standard practice. While viewing the game, several of these people heckled the presenter, disrupted the play session, and otherwise made big enough asses of themselves that they had to be escorted out. Their later-published reviews of their experience were, unsurprisingly, extremely negative. The publisher said nothing, simply did not bother to invite said people to another event. They quietly made a note, remembered the behavior of the hecklers, and acted accordingly.

Some of you may think you know who I’m talking about here. You probably don’t. This is a story I’ve heard retold MANY times, and the only difference is the publisher response– did they uninvite people to future events or did they grin and bear it? Otherwise the stories I’ve seen and heard are virtually identical. There’s a term for this: it’s called “biting the hand that feeds you”.

This kind of thing is *why* journalistic integrity is important, and why it’s vitally important for any kind of “honest” reporting to have that separation. Lest you think I’m absolving the publishers from this, consider: if the publisher is paying for the trip, controlling what reviewers see, and otherwise bankrolling the entire thing, how do any of us possibly think the results are unbiased? What possible value is there in paying money to show someone something and have them announce publicly that it’s awful? From a business standpoint, that’s unacceptable and expensive risk.

It’s not an unsolvable problem. If games media outlets don’t like being classed as “enthusiast press” and don’t like what they consider honest reviews to be characterized as “biting the hand that feeds them”, they can take the route of legitimate journalism. The difficulty here is that journalism in general is getting crushed out by enthusiast press which can be controlled by the things it’s reporting on. Finding a way to make money, to keep the lights on, without becoming beholden to the very people you’re trying to report on is a difficult obstacle to overcome. Not a lot of media outlets have figured it out, and I’m not limiting that to games here.

It’s a nasty problem, and it’s not one with a clear and obvious solution. Highly trained professionals with decades of experience are trying and failing to solve it. There’s no shame in being enthusiast press, because it pays the bills and keeps the lights on. It’s what a LOT of media outlets have been doing. But much like publishers can’t get both unbiased, publicly trusted mouthpieces and universally good reviews, the reporting side can’t get both the trust of journalistic integrity and the money/support from their targets.

Games reporters can accept this and either live with being enthusiast press or try to forge a path to journalistic integrity, but sniping at companies because they cast aspersions on your relevance is, well… petty.

(Games) Journalism versus Enthusiast Press

I read an incredibly, incredibly petty article today. It’s written as a defensive piece that lashes out and, ironically, proves the very thing they’re railing against. 636029167851094809-1607608893_brand-journalism-is-better-than-content-marketing Short version, so you can skip the article if you choose: Polygon is upset because Bethesda has evidently claimed that games journalism doesn’t matter. They cite Bethsoft’s “late” review copies as an attack on reviewers and, by extension, customers. They strike back by offering the “sage” wisdom of not preordering games. It’s honestly sort of a pity that this kind of thing is coming from Polygon, because of all of the gaming media outlets out there, they’re the ones who flirt the closest with actual journalism the most. Polygon has some really excellent articles on occasion. I have a variety of thoughts about this. First of all is the difference between “journalism” and “enthusiast press”. We have a name for news written by fans of a thing, about that thing, that is generally excited about said thing. It’s called enthusiast press, and it is what virtually every gaming media outlet actually is. Enthusiast press is fine, it’s a way of being a marketing signal boost, it’s a way of celebrating common interests, it’s great for building hype, it’s great for getting the word out about upcoming things. It is not hard-hitting journalism. Journalism is a different thing entirely. It takes a goodly amount of training, and is genuinely very difficult. You have to extract information from potentially unwilling people, you have to know exactly how to protect your sources, you have to understand concepts like fact-checking, reduction of harm, integrity, and accountability. You also have to find a way to keep the lights on in your office WITHOUT that revenue stream being a conflict of interest. You can lament reality all you like, but that separation is absolutely vital to calling your content “journalism” and having anyone take you seriously. I have no doubt that there are people at Polygon who understand this. It probably chafes them, I’m sure they would love to be able to do actual journalism. It chafes me, because the games industry could use some really great journalist outlets, ones that can report and make the entire industry better through transparency without pandering to major publishers or allowing themselves to be influenced or controlled by the very people they’re supposed to be reporting on. The industry could use it. Unfortunately, what’s happened instead is that the games enthusiast press has, as their relevance has shrunk, started throwing around the term “games journalism” to regain credibility, painting an illusion of separation where, realistically, none exists. In so doing, they’ve devalued the term “games journalism”. Allow me to retell a story I heard: A group of people from games media outlets were invited to a closed-doors showing of an upcoming title. Their trips were paid for by the publisher, as were their meals and their hotels. Fairly standard practice. While viewing the game, several of these people heckled the presenter, disrupted the play session, and otherwise made big enough asses of themselves that they had to be escorted out. Their later-published reviews of their experience were, unsurprisingly, extremely negative. The publisher said nothing, simply did not bother to invite said people to another event. They quietly made a note, remembered the behavior of the hecklers, and acted accordingly. Some of you may think you know who I’m talking about here. You probably don’t. This is a story I’ve heard retold MANY times, and the only difference is the publisher response– did they uninvite people to future events or did they grin and bear it? Otherwise the stories I’ve seen and heard are virtually identical. There’s a term for this: it’s called “biting the hand that feeds you”. This kind of thing is why journalistic integrity is important, and why it’s vitally important for any kind of “honest” reporting to have that separation. Lest you think I’m absolving the publishers from this, consider: if the publisher is paying for the trip, controlling what reviewers see, and otherwise bankrolling the entire thing, how do any of us possibly think the results are unbiased? What possible value is there in paying money to show someone something and have them announce publicly that it’s awful? From a business standpoint, that’s unacceptable and expensive risk. It’s not an unsolvable problem. If games media outlets don’t like being classed as “enthusiast press” and don’t like what they consider honest reviews to be characterized as “biting the hand that feeds them”, they can take the route of legitimate journalism. The difficulty here is that journalism in general is getting crushed out by enthusiast press which can be controlled by the things it’s reporting on. Finding a way to make money, to keep the lights on, without becoming beholden to the very people you’re trying to report on is a difficult obstacle to overcome. Not a lot of media outlets have figured it out, and I’m not limiting that to games here. It’s a nasty problem, and it’s not one with a clear and obvious solution. Highly trained professionals with decades of experience are trying and failing to solve it. There’s no shame in being enthusiast press, because it pays the bills and keeps the lights on. It’s what a LOT of media outlets have been doing. But much like publishers can’t get both unbiased, publicly trusted mouthpieces and universally good reviews, the reporting side can’t get both the trust of journalistic integrity and the money/support from their targets. Games reporters can accept this and either live with being enthusiast press or try to forge a path to journalistic integrity, but sniping at companies because they cast aspersions on your relevance is, well… petty.