Failure

Failure isn’t adequately addressed in games. The reality of failure, the immediacy and the high probability of failure in the real world is not well expressed in the games we play. We fail at a task and we have to return to a point earlier in time, from before our failure, and we have to then try to execute “properly”, avoiding the failure. It’s very artificial, we just hand-wave it away like a story whose details you can’t remember (literally this, in the case of a few games).

To some extent, I think this is why Dark Souls and Bloodborne have taken root in the collective “hardcore” gamer psyche. Failure is inevitable, frequent, and harsh, and for a lot of people I suspect it fills the void created by success without the threat of failure. There’s an interesting duality there: it is far more satisfying to succeed at a thing you thought impossible, and far more demoralizing to fail at something you know you’re capable of.

There’s a certain school of thought that latches onto this, and says that games should always be played at the highest difficulty setting, with the underlying though focusing on maximizing the former and minimizing the latter. I don’t ascribe to this particular point of view, because I don’t think that every game necessarily has “difficulty” as a relevant part of the experience, but I also don’t ascribe the opposing view that playing games on the highest difficulty is exclusively an expression of ego and machismo, a paean of the “hardcore”, as it were.

Failure is healthy for the psyche, much like change. We fear it, and avoid it, but it is in our failures that we learn and grow, and it is in continual assured victories that we stop progressing and stabilize. There are advantages to the latter; I had originally typed “stagnate” and “regress”, but I think that’s an overly harsh evaluation– there is value in stability and headlong, unceasing progression leaves little time for self-evaluation. Too much of anything is unhealthy, but especially with games it’s easy to fall into a state where you simply consume content without investment, accruing victory after victory without context.

Unfortunately, I don’t think games as a medium address failure well. Failure isn’t fun. This isn’t just a function of failure; failure can be incredibly fun, it just needs to be designed that way. I don’t think we’ve found a magic bullet for it, and we’ve created a paradigm in which even the slightest failure leads to an instantly reloaded save game.

I remember the old Hitman series, with limited saves (or no saves) on each level, forcing you to either play through a lengthy level from the start or to live with your mistakes. It’s that latter that I want to see more of. Games don’t let us live with our mistakes and attempt to right them; we either fail and GAME OVER or we fail and the game reminds us of it, but we cannot ever make things right.

Interestingly, I think the place where failure is best expressed is in the MMO space, where you can’t reload to a previous save but you can go back and right your mistakes. There’s a certain reality to that fantasy space that’s compelling to me, and I think why I spend so much time in MMOs compared to other games.



Source: Digital Initiative
Failure

Bad Medicine

A Good Nights Sleep

Monday night I did not sleep well at all.  I was up late futzing and waiting on a print job for my wife, that ultimately ended up printing the wrong thing.  As a result neither of us got to bed until after midnight.  After that I don’t think either of us really got solid sleep, and next thing we knew it the alarm was going off at 5:30.  As a result I spent most of yesterday sleep walking through it.  There are just some hazes that not even caffeine can clear, and this is only compounded by the fact that my allergies are still killing me.  Even the smallest task seemed like a struggle, and last nights raid was pure hell to suffer through…  in part because of my present state of mind.  I realistically should have just bowed out and headed to bed, but that didn’t happen.

I did however managed to get to sleep around 10:30 and last night was probably the most luminously glorious night of sleep I have had in a long time.  Granted I woke up before the alarm by about twenty minutes…  but I did the correct thing and just got on up instead of trying to struggle for those last few minutes of sleep.  The end result is I feel more human than I have in a long time.  Who knew I needed this sleep thing after all?  Now if only I didn’t have to go to work I could actually enjoy my day.  Today in particular is going to be a strange one as I have to go to lunch with a vendor.  Working lunches make me grumpy, especially since during this one we will be grilling the vendor for information.  At least maybe I get a free meal out of the deal.

Rough Raiding

Wow-64 2015-04-21 20-48-48-06 Last night I was not in the right frame of mind for raiding.  That is the simple fact but the end results of the night didn’t really help either.  As a whole the night felt like we were beating our heads against a wall.  We had fourteen people, two healers and opted to run Blackrock Foundry Heroic.  I am not the raid leader so I am sure there was a reason, but it felt like we were just setting ourselves up for failure.  We managed to eek out a victory on Hans and Franz with that configuration.  Then we lost one healer and gained a different healer, and someone healing in their off set.  We pushed forward and managed to down Beastlord Darmac in this fashion, before heading on to do some attempts on Flambender Ka’graz.  There we made some swaps to the layout that seem like they might have worked, but it required a lot more work adjusting on the tanking side, so overall it was a wash and we wiped horribly.

This stagnation and continued throwing ourselves against heroic when it seems like on some level we are just not ready for it is completely destroying any desire I have to log in.  I am not sure what is going wrong honestly.  I am not sure if our tanks are undergeared, or if our healers are undergeared… or if the dps are just taking too much “could be avoided” damage making the healers heal someone other than the tanks.  All I know is that we are having to battle rez tanks constantly, and as a matter of course which makes all of our attempts sloppier than they should be.  Our Tuesday WoW raid is generally bad at adjusting to the conditions on the ground which is maddening to me, because this is precisely the strength of the Monday night Final Fantasy XIV raid.  If things don’t go according to plan we seem to lose our shit completely, and end up flailing wildly…  or standing in shit and dying.  So I am not sure if we just have a massive case of tunnel vision or if there is some gearing problem at hand.  I know for me personally I am still wearing 640 pants because nothing better will drop.

Bad Medicine

Wow-64 2015-04-10 06-18-41-75 The problem is right now I am right back in that old familiar place.  I dread logging into World of Warcraft Tuesday and Thursday to get a raid invite.  I’ve reached that point where I am just frustrated with the whole raiding in wow experience.  I have been here so many times before, and I am not quite sure how to fix it.  I feel committed to “take my medicine” and log in for the sake of my friends, but I question…  are any of us actually having any fun right now?  Monday was won of the funniest nights of raiding I have ever experienced, and we spent it wiping like nubs to turn 9 after having taken a month off of it.  So it obviously is not progression that ultimately dictates how I feel about a raid… it is the attitude of the raiders and the atmosphere of the raid.  We spent Monday laughing and joking, and at the same time we made some serious progress.  That is when I love to raid, when it feels like we are pulling together as a team even if we are wiping horribly.

The Tuesday/Thursday night raids just feel broken.  They have about as much mirth as the waiting room of a battered women’s shelter.  I log in and join the raid and I feel worse, because there is an unspoken tension going on.  No one talks anymore, because key players in the raid are easily distracted by chatter.  What is frustrating is, this is not the raid I joined.  This is not the raid I saw at the end of Siege of Orgrimmar, or even during High Maul.  That raid was excited about the prospects of this expansion, and enjoyed their evenings spent together.  This raid just feels stressed and burnt out… and I have no clue how to rehabilitate it.  I wish I did know honestly, because I miss that raid that existed before we set foot into Blackrock Foundry.  That is a raid I enjoyed spending two nights a week with.  This one…  I just end up zoning out and waiting for the night to be over.



Source: Tales of the Aggronaut
Bad Medicine

May’s Game of the Month

This month is my month for the Aggrochat GOTM, and I’m having some difficulty deciding on a game for everyone to play.

I really want a game that sparks discussion, particularly in our approaches. We’ve had games where we talk about our different takes on the experiences we had (Citizens of Earth, Trine 2), but we haven’t yet had a game where our approaches to playing it differ dramatically. I feel like that demands an RPG of some kind, but one that’s relatively consumable in the month allotted.

I’ve also waffled back and forth on whether I want to select a game that I’ve already played and know is good (to recommend to the rest of the group) or a game I haven’t played or have barely touched, so my experience is as fresh as everyone else’s.

There’s a tie here to an issue I have that comes up frequently when I deal with other people– I very much want to offer the best experience I can to other people, regardless of my own personal interests. It comes up a lot in certain social situations: I’m very reticent to introduce myself to someone I don’t know, because I generally feel like people don’t need to be bothered by me coming to take up their time and space. This extends to even my close friends– if I’m choosing the thing we do, I want to make sure it’s an enjoyable experience for everyone, no matter what my own personal interests are.

I have a game I would pick if I only cared about myself, and I’ve already eliminated it from the running because I know two other people wouldn’t really enjoy it, even though I think it would be a fascinating game for us all to play and share notes on. It’s just a game I crave spoiler-heavy discussion on, because I’ve had very little of it.

It’s an interesting conundrum, because I’m trying to be more aware of the underlying reasons behind the decisions I make. Do I choose something *I* really want to play, or do I try to pick something that I like less and that is less interesting for me to talk about because I think it’ll be more interesting for everyone else? Which of the two is a more arrogant decision, thinking I can get inside my friends’ heads or steamrolling their desires in order to get my way?

Difficult. I suppose tune in to Aggrochat this Sunday to find out what happened.



Source: Digital Initiative
May’s Game of the Month

Juggling Games

Naeling It

ffxiv 2015-04-21 06-18-03-34 The Monday night raid group has had quite the sequence of strange weeks since patch 2.55 went into the game.  Either we were lacking the right people, or enough people at all to do turn 9.  As a result after what seems like a month we did our first night of second coil attempts.  We were all exceptionally rusty going in, but the spirits were extremely high.  At times I would say our spirits were too high, because holy shit were we slap happy.  I was one of the worse so it is not like I can really complain much.  The positive take away is that we managed to get further than we had ever gotten before last night, and were starting to work on the fire/lightning phase of the fight.  On our best attempt we got Nael to 30% which feels like progress.  Essentially once we learn the phase four dance, we just have to keep that up until the boss is dead.

The only regret I have right now is choosing to get my 1300 poetics weapon on my warrior.  I was torn, he is absolutely my main and I intend not tanking as often as I can.  The problem is on Nael the fight we are struggling with I am having to dragoon it up.  That dps boost would really help, but what is done is done…  just kinda kicking myself for not picking a dragoon weapon first.  That said since 126 is more than geared enough for anything we are doing…  I am considering focusing on getting a 1300 weapon for the dragoon now before I pick up any more poetics gear for the warrior.  He still needs a chest piece and a belt, which I was going to start building towards the chest next.  However since that is still going to take a significant amount of time… I might work on getting that weapon instead.  I really wish that today’s 2.56 patch would have uncapped poetics…  because man do I need a lot of them.

Cap and Storm

MarvelHeroes2015 2015-04-20 22-24-50-34 Last night after the raiding shenanigans Thalen mentioned that at one point he had created a House Stalwart super group in Marvel Heroes as a way of stopping the random guild invites.  So I popped over into game and got invites.  From this point we grouped up for a bit until he needed to head to bed.  I have to say that I thought Captain America’s charge in and shield whirl thing was good AOE… until I ran around a bit with Storm.  While I got to tank bosses, pretty much all of the trash in the entire zone died horribly to a cloud of whirling winds.  That said I am really enjoying the fact that I can tank almost any world boss without much issue by keeping my my defensive buffs.  I noticed last night that there was a difficulty slider so at some point I want to play with that.  There are times this feels a lot like diablo on “normal” and I am wondering if there is a “hard” setting that I really should be playing.

Quite honestly I have not been even vaguely close to death other than last night when I was tanking Gorgon.  There I simply used the occasional med pack and made it through that fight without much issue.  The only reason  why it was dicey at all was because I was essentially soloing him, which is probably something I should not be  able to do at this point.  As of last night I am sitting at level 15 and still really enjoying the game.  I think this is going to be my go to for mindless fun, and I swear there are so many times the zone layout reminds me of City of Heroes.  I guess that might be because when I played that game I kept my camera zoomed out as far as it would go, which made it feel a bit like an over the top game.  The competition for spawns is a bit annoying near the entrance of a zone… but if you wander off by yourself you pretty much get the place to yourself.  When I hit the island of Madripoor it felt like the pack thinned out significantly, so I am guessing most people don’t make it out of the level 10 range before moving on.

Juggling Games

WildStar64 2015-04-17 19-23-24-41 The problem with juggling multiple games is that one of them always ends up falling through the cracks.  Right now I wish I had the time to devote to working on my character in Wildstar and trying to hit 65 in Rift.  Instead I am logging in a few times a day in Rift to run minions… and just not logging in at all in Wildstar.  Honestly my playtime is really spastic right now, because I have a bunch of things that I am trying to do each day.  In Final Fantasy XIV I am playing the mini cactpot each day and trying to stockpile as much MGP as I can.  Then while in game I run at least one daily expert so that I can cap my poetics each week.  I am also logging into World of Warcraft in the morning and at night to run my Garrison missions in the hopes of getting those ever illusive raid gear crates.  I am not 100% sure how they work, other than the fact that they show up every two weeks, so I keep clearing out other missions in hopes of making room for them when they show up.

Something new added to the rotation is logging into Marvel Heroes to get my log in reward.  Similarly I am logging into Final Fantasy Record Keeper for the same reason, and to get my daily item chest.  Record Keeper is one of those games I mostly play while my wife is shopping or I am out eating, waiting on food to arrive at the table.  It is a moment of boredom game more than anything else, but that said I am really enjoying it.  It is scratching an itch that I had not quite found from a mobile game.  Realistically I should be trying to log into Wildstar each day so that I can do a boom box, but I have been failing miserably at that one.  The funny thing is that I am spending a lot of time in a lot of different games but not really playing any of them.  Finally after doing my routine I figure out which game I am actually going to play and run off playing that one.  Most of the time that is Final Fantasy XIV but over the last few nights I have been playing a significant amount of Marvel Heroes.  Basically…  right now I am all over the place.

Source: Tales of the Aggronaut
Juggling Games